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Neoliberalistan 2053

Written By: Fugstarnagar
13/07/2013 13:44
Religion & Culture

Sponsoring Prayer and Zakatocracy

“This recitation of Surah Fatihah was brought to you by the Halal pencil company. Their pioneering stationary prevents harmful innovations, by administering electric shocks to the user when creativity that might contravene five hundred year old fiqh stances from Madagascar is detected. The HB Bida Blocker recently won a Smart Technology Award at the 50th meeting of the World Islamic Economic Forum in South Korea. The following recitation of Surah Ikhlas was brought to you by Electric Mejdoul, the uk’s first halal genetically modified date company, whose flagship product brings the exact DNA of the dates that our beloved….”
Obama Hasan slapped the side of his head, to get the ridiculousness out of his legal Muslimness implant and out of his consciousness. It was hard to these days, and it seemed to get worse every Ramadan.

In fact the only part of Ramadan which had not been sold of was Salatul Duha, nobody really cared too much for that super-obligatory prayer.

The adverts for zakat were out too, it was a tradition now, competing in good works they would say. It was Islamic Green Leaf versus Muslim Orangade, and the new kid on the block Muslim thumbs, a charity dedicated to freedom of movement across all sorts of borders.
Way before even the first erroneous and much flagellated over moon-sighting Obama Hassan had been buttered up for a month of giving no actual thought to the problems of the world but keeping the depoliticising and cheesy charity sector afloat.

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