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Zero Tolerance to Domestic Violence

Written By: Ajmal-Masroor
22/06/2013 15:19
Social Issues

Can a couple ever build a real relationship if they are inflicting physical violence on each other? Relationship is a safe environment for all parties to explore their full potential. Violence equals fear and intimidation, control and subjugation and on the part of the victim loss of self-esteem and dignity. In a loving relationship there is no room for violence. No meaningful and satisfactory relationship can ever be built on such an abusive environment. 

Recently we saw the news headline of Charles Saatchi placing his hands around the throat of his wife Nigella Lawson. He claimed it was a “playful tiff” and he was only reinforcing his argument. Charles Saatchi may explain himself using these rather pathetic words but the no body believed him. His excuses and his friends running to defense only trivialized the horrendous nature of this crime. The fact that he has accepted police caution is enough to conclude that he did intend to violate Nigella Lawson’s basic human dignity. 

Placing one’s hand sound someone’s throat has a clear meaning and indication of one’s motive – to hurt the person seriously including causing asphyxiation, suffocation and even death. This is not a joke Mr Saatchi; you could have killed your wife! You certainly had the strength to damage her seriously! People who think that it is OK to hit their spouse forget the physical damage and the longer-term psychological damage domestic violence causes. 

I have heard similar lame excuses from people who have hit their spouse at some point in their relationship. Some say, “It was only a slap, it was nothing really” or “I only punched her on the chest” or “I didn’t mean to hit him on his face”. I am afraid where you hit and how you hit does not make it any better – it is still domestic violence and totally inexcusable. 

Did you know?

1 in 4 women will be a victim of domestic violence in their lifetime – many of these on a number of occasions.
One incident of domestic violence is reported to the police every minute. 
2 women a week are killed by a current or former male partner
1 in 6 men will experience Domestic Violence in their life
Every third victim of Domestic Violence is a man
9% of all reported violent crimes are Domestic Violence cases involving male victims

The perpetrators are usually possessive and jealous type. They systematically isolate their partner from family and friends, and over time the victim becomes dependent on the abuser. The victim feels alone and unable to tell anyone because of shame associated with it.

The pressure from friends and families is extremely intense and demand to keep it private is high. It is believed that disclosure or report to the police would bring shame on the entire family. Culture and traditions can play a huge role in brushing the issue under the carpet. Some people believe that if it is not talked about, it will get better eventually. 

There is a common misconception that time heals all wounds. I strongly contest such an assertion, time does help heal the wound but for the wound to heal properly the victim must to be liberated from such an abusive environment first so that he or she can make objective and clear decisions for how they want to deal with the issue and what they wish to do with their future. And the perpetrator needs to be punished and put into a correctional programme before rehabilitation. 

We should have ZERO tolerance towards domestic violence.

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family relationship domestic violence human rights 


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About Ajmal-Masroor

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  • Name: Ajmal Masroor
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    Ajmal Masroor is an Author, Broadcaster, Relationship Counsellor , Politician and Imam based in London, UK. His facebook profile can be followed

    This Blog is made by his Fan and all writings are collected from his Facebook page which is Public.


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